What Are You Still Carrying? A Leadership Lesson from a Zen Story

Sometimes the most powerful leadership lessons come from the simplest stories.

In a recent coaching conversation, Brian Schubring heard a client summarize a long discussion in an unexpected way. Instead of offering a framework or strategy, the client shared a short story he often reads to his children.

That story—originally shared in Zen Shorts by Jon J. Muth—sparked a conversation that stayed with us long after the meeting ended.

In this episode of the Leadership Vision Podcast, we explore a classic Zen parable about two traveling monks, a difficult encounter, and the surprising question that follows.

The Story

The story begins with two monks traveling together. When they reach a town, they encounter a young woman standing beside a large puddle. Heavy rains have made the road muddy, and she refuses to step into the water for fear of ruining her silk robes. Her servants stand nearby, unable to help because they are carrying her belongings. Without saying a word, the older monk picks the woman up, carries her across the puddle, and sets her down on the other side. She walks away without thanking him.

The monks continue on their journey.

Hours later, the younger monk can no longer contain his frustration. He says to the older monk:

“That woman was rude and selfish. You carried her across the puddle, and she didn’t even thank you.”

The older monk replies calmly:

“I set the woman down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?”

As Linda would say, “Mic drop.”

Why This Story Matters for Leaders

Simple stories like this one endure because they reveal something deeply human. As we discussed the story on the podcast, one of the questions that emerged was this:

Which character do you see yourself in?

• The older monk, who helps and then lets the moment go.
• The younger monk, who continues replaying the injustice.
• The woman, who believes the obstacle is someone else’s problem.
• Even the servants, trying to figure out how to solve the problem.

If we’re honest, most of us carry a bit of each of these perspectives.

Leadership often involves navigating moments like this—moments where we must decide what deserves our energy and what we need to release.

As we discussed, I found myself identifying perhaps with a combination of several. Perhaps analyzing the story too much, to decide what I needed to do in the situation. If it was me, should I be upset like the young monk? Should I be concerned about the packages? Or something else? But at the end of the day, I came to the conclusion, as Brian points out, that I simply need to let it go.

The Leadership Challenge: Learning What to Let Go

One of the biggest challenges for leaders is recognizing the difference between:

• Something that requires action
• And something that simply needs to be released

Many leaders replay conversations, frustrations, and disappointments long after they happen.

A comment from a colleague.
A decision from leadership.
A frustrating meeting.

The moment ends—but mentally we keep carrying it. The Zen story invites us to ask a powerful question: What am I still carrying that I could have set down hours/days/weeks/years ago?

Perspective Shapes the Problem

Another insight from this story is how perspective changes the way we see challenges.

The woman in the story sees the puddle as an impassable obstacle. But the monks simply continue their journey. They find a way forward.

In leadership, it’s easy for challenges to feel bigger than they actually are. Sometimes a team’s frustration, fear, or uncertainty can amplify a problem until it feels immovable.

One of the roles of leadership is helping people see what is actually in front of them—and reminding them that forward movement is still possible.

The Journey Matters Too

One of the subtle themes in this story is that the monks continue walking together.

Even after the disagreement. Even after the frustration. They stay on the journey.

Leadership is rarely a solo effort. The people around us—colleagues, teammates, mentors—help us see things we might miss.

Sometimes we are the older monk. Sometimes we are the younger one. But growth often happens through those shared conversations along the road.

Questions for Reflection

If you’re leading a team—or simply navigating a challenging season—consider reflecting on these questions:

1. What situation am I still carrying that I could let go of?
2. Which character in the story do I most relate to right now?
3. Am I seeing a challenge clearly, or am I amplifying it?
4. Who is walking alongside me on the journey?

Sometimes leadership growth isn’t about learning something new.

Sometimes it’s about setting something down.