Pay Attention to Your Dreams and What They Can Teach You

We spend a lot of time trying to make our lives better. At least I know I do. I’m always trying to eat better, get more sleep, exercise the right amount to meet my goals, and read books both for fun, and for enlightenment. I’m also trying to be more present with my family, be on my phone less, try to find quality time with my wife, and oh yeah, what is my big purpose in life these days?

It’s exhausting!

Don’t get me wrong, this is all good! So good, but I think we need to be careful by how much we search for wellness, and how much we try to optimize every corner of our lives.

At some point, the pursuit of wellness can become more of a detriment and just one more thing that causes us to feel like we’re falling behind. We, (and I am the first to be guilty of this), can become so focused on creating the best possible version of our lives that we forget to actually live them.

Maybe wellness is less about perfecting our lives and more about paying attention to them.

What Is Your Life Trying to Tell You?

There is so much uncertainty in life that we simply cannot control. We don’t know exactly what will happen with our work, families, relationships, health, gas prices, or the world around us. We can prepare and plan, but there will always be more uncertainty than certainty. Always.

Taking care of our bodies and minds is one of the relatively small things we can actually do. We can go for a run. We can go to bed instead of watching one more episode of that Netflix show. Prioritize time with the people we care more about. Or outside, create space to think, and pay closer attention to what gives versus takes away our energy.

Not because doing those things guarantees some sort of optimized life, but because it helps us be intentional about the type of life we want to live. And maybe the type of life we are already living. Both of which can bring about greater self awareness.

Brian Schubring recently described this in terms of our dreams:

“The one spark that ignites that dream within us, that’s the one that I think we need to pay attention to because I believe that there’s something about our dreaming that is a request of our talents and our vision and our personality that wants to get out and express itself in the world.”

I love the phrase pay attention. Pay attention to what’s already around you. What you’re already doing. You don’t need a massive restart, just start by noticing.

• What keeps getting your attention?
• What idea won’t quite leave you alone?
• What makes you curious?
• What gives you energy?
• What are you imagining when nobody is asking you to be practical?

Those things may be telling you something. Those things may point to your dream, and ultimately, to a greater sense of your own well-being.

“Maybe wellness is less about perfecting our lives and more about paying attention to them.”

How Do Dreams Shape Your Identity?

Dreams shape our identity by giving us something to move toward and learn from. Even when a dream doesn’t come true, pursuing it can reveal more about our talents, values, interests, relationships, and the kind of person we are becoming.

I think we all need to be living some sort of dream. Big dreams, small dreams… just dream. Brian and Linda have really opened my eyes to this idea ever since they started talking about their book, Unfolded.

But that doesn’t mean everyone needs a massive life purpose or some grand vision for changing the world. Your current dream might be relatively ordinary. It might also turn out to be completely wrong. Or completely right.

Both of those things are OK!

I’ve heard Linda talk about how for years, she believed she would become the president of a small college. That never happened. But pursuing that dream led her to earn a doctorate, take on different roles, meet different people, and learn more about how she wanted to spend her life. The dream didn’t become reality, but pursuing it helped reveal more of who she was.

It revealed a different dream. That’s an important distinction. A dream doesn’t have to come true to be useful.

I think most of the time we only discover what we really want through experience. We try something and it doesn’t go well. So we change direction and try again. Then we REALLY fail. So, we try yet again. Something surprises us. Another possibility emerges. And on and on. That’s how a dream (or many dreams) get us moving.

And movement gives us information. When we chatted recently, Linda said,

“Because I was pursuing a dream, I was learning lessons about my identity.”

Your current dream may not be the perfect dream. It might simply be the best direction you can see from where you’re standing today.

Follow it long enough to learn something. Then pay attention to what you’ve learned. Apply it, and follow that to learn something else.

What Do You Already Have Going for You?

Dreaming naturally directs our attention toward the future.

But there is another question worth asking:

What is already aligned with where you want to go?

We often begin with what we’re missing. Maybe we think we don’t have enough experience. Or we don’t know the right people. And time, money, confidence, education, or opportunity always feel lacking. Fill in whatever you think you’re lacking.

But Linda suggests beginning somewhere else:

“What do you already have going for you? What has been your education, your expertise? Where do you live? What have been some experiences?”

That’s a very different inventory. Look backward and around you before assuming everything you need is somewhere ahead of you.

• What have your experiences prepared you for?
• What relationships already exist?
• What have you learned?
• What are you unusually good at?
• What have failure, disappointment, success, and repetition taught you?

You may discover that more of your life is pointing toward your dream than you realized.

“The dream gets us moving. And movement gives us information.”

Adjust, Don’t Overhaul

Once you start paying attention, you may notice something else. What got you here may no longer be serving your current needs. That doesn’t necessarily require blowing up your life. But an adjustment of some sort is certainly in order. Brian and Linda describe this adjustment as a change in “where you put your attention.”

Spend your time differently. Let something go. Surround yourself with different people. Or simply change your attitude toward something. Small adjustments matter because dreams aren’t only destinations. They can help us notice who we are becoming along the way.

There will always be uncertainty about where our lives are going. We don’t need to solve all of it before taking action.

Take care of yourself. Stay curious. Try things. Fail at things. Notice what gives you energy. Pay attention to the sparks that keep returning. And possibly the most important thing of all… remain open to the possibility that the life you eventually dream about might look very different from the one you thought you were supposed to build.

Continue the Conversation

This article was inspired in part by a conversation with Dr. Linda Schubring and Brian Schubring on the Leadership Vision Podcast about wellness, identity, and the ways our dreams can awaken something within us.

Listen to the full episode here →